not yet titled

Merlin Mann — well known for his productivitiy website 43 Folders — posts regularly on Twitter under the nick of hotdogsladies. And he is well worth following for his concise and witty writing.

He has, perhaps, been watching too much coverage of the Papal visit to the USA, because he has been twittering frequently on the subject of “Popetiquette” — pronounced, he writes, “pō-pĕt’ĭ-kĭt”, and intended as “rules for encountering the Pontiff”. You can see these on his page of course, but they may soon get buried, and are so good I think they need to be collected and presented in other places. So, here they are:

Popetiquette: The Pontiff will always attempt to eat his soup course with a scepter until he is gently corrected by the host’s wife.

Popetiquette: The Pontiff will always offer the last scone to the least attractive person at his table; and you’re not allowed to cry.

Popetiquette: The Pontiff’s mitre may never be used as a beer bong — except on St. Patrick’s Day and only in St. Patrick’s Cathedral.

Popetiquette: If two Pontiffs meet on a bridge, they must fight with bo-sticks until one yields, yelling “Mama mia!”

Popetiquette: If you find the Pontiff’s pot of gold, he has to grant you one wish.

Popetiquette: While dining with the Pontiff, if you stump him on New Testament trivia, he has to give you a piggyback ride around the table.

Popetiquette: In accordance with the Nicine Creed, please wait for the Pontiff to first offer the fist bump.

Popetiquette: If the Pontiff challenges you to roshambo, be aware that he can always win by crossing two fingers, indicating “Original Sin.”

Popetiquette: If the Pontiff is taken by humorous surprise, and does “a spit take,” all at the table must join him without comment.

Popetiquette: If the Pontiff pretends that he’s “got your nose,” the proper response is “…and also with you.”

I think that last one is my favourite…Thanks Merlin!